


If You Give Jim Kirk a Starship

by grapalicious



Series: If You Give... [1]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-06
Updated: 2013-09-06
Packaged: 2017-12-25 20:34:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/957336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grapalicious/pseuds/grapalicious
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What exactly happens when James T. Kirk is Captain of a starship?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>  <i>"If you give Jim Kirk a starship, he'll probably want some warp drive to go with it..."</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	If You Give Jim Kirk a Starship

**Author's Note:**

> Transferred from my fanfiction account [NineKindsofCrazy](http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2323591/NineKindsofCrazy)
> 
>  
> 
> Work inspired by Laura Numeroff's book series for kids. Pokes fun at The Original Series episodes as well as Original Series and Alternate Series Captain Kirk.

If you give Jim Kirk a starship, he'll probably want some warp drive to go with it.

"Warp factor 4."

"Aye, Captain."

With warp drive, Kirk will be able to explore new planets and civilizations.

"Arriving at Omicron Odio V, Captain."

"Standard orbit."

Once Kirk beams down to the new planet, he'll get acquainted with the alien life.

"I'm James T. Kirk, Captain of the U.S.S. Enterprise."

"Hello, Jamesteekirk. I am Delarius, leader of Odions."

After meeting with the aliens, Kirk will investigate the planet.

"Tricorder readings are picking up unusual amounts of movement at bearing 112, mark 4."

"Set phasers on stun."

Then, Kirk and his crew, consisting of at least one security officer, will get into a fight with a faction of rebellious aliens.

"Sir, Ensign Corruthers was killed by one of the Odions!"

"I want everyone to beam up to the Enterprise!"

Unfortunately, there will be an anomaly which prevents transporter abilities.

"Captain, we have detected subspace radiation that is interfering with our transporter."

"I'm sorry, but I cannae beam any one of ye up."

Stranded on the planet, Kirk meets an attractive female alien who he will end up kissing.

"I am Taliyah. You are a very intriguing creature, Jamesteekirk."

"And you are a very beautiful creature, Taliyah. Would you like to learn about some of Earth's customs?"

Kirk angers the aliens and once again gets into a fight, in which his shirt will inevitably be ripped.

"You have disrespected the laws of our people."

"Laws? Your laws disrespect the freedom that every being in this universe is entitled to!"

Kirk restores peace to the alien planet while somehow managing to uphold the Prime Directive.

"Now the Odions can live without worrying about being punished for their free will."

"Yes, Captain. I, too, found their way of previous life most illogical."

After beaming up, Kirk will ask for warp drive to be enabled.

"Ahead, warp factor 2."

"Acknowledged, Captain."

And if you give Jim Kirk some warp drive, he'll need a starship to go with it.


End file.
